School Days

Could we be any less ready for school to start? It starts in seven days and I think I've purchased two shirts and a pair of pants for the boy and a dress and a shirt for the girl. No pens, pencils, crayons or new shoes. No new lunch box or backpacks (although strangely enough my son says he's fine with what he has - whatever).

They assigned "optional" work for the summer. Math pages, journal pages - crap like that. I say crap because MY GOD YOU OVERACHEIVING WACKOS - IT'S SUMMER!! Also they highly recommend that you participate in the optional (but not really) Summer Reading Program at the town library. Which we did, totally half heartedly, but some effort is better than none, right? They get a certificate, a certificate. Which I'm guessing will read:

Congratulations.

Your parents forced you to waste quality outdoor summer fun time on mindless activities like filling in worksheets and writing journal pages. Now kids, we know you will be doing plenty of worksheets and will do the mandatory journal pages every day in school so we'd like to thank your parents for not thinking of any fun or interesting way to reinforce what we worked so hard to teach you last year.

Okay, a wee bit sarcastic maybe but I cannot speak a word of this out loud on the outside chance that my son might hear me. Cannot diss the school in front of the kids. Big no no. School you can kiss my no homework doing, no school shopping, sucking the last bit of fun out of summer ass.

And if on the off chance his teacher (hey there Mrs. L) or his principal (wassup Mrs. H) ever stumble across this.... I'm totally kidding and yay school - we love it!

P.S. I just typed diss and wassup in my post. How old am I? NeXt thIng u no I b tYping liKe diS.