You Know You're From Massachusetts When... |
The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. Only because he's in the passing lane, the slowpoke.
You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. Sadly enough, I do. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit. Pretty much. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer. Yep. You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks. You know what they sell at a packie. Duh. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call. Chinese restaurant right down the street. You can actually find your way around Boston. It's smaller than you think. You know what First Night is. Yeah, lame and over crowded and freakin' cold. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus. Holy Crap, All but Whitey. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. I do. You have never been to Cheers. Not once. When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together. And they don't? You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford. Puh-leeze. You have gone to at least one party at UMass. Only one. The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools. My son knows. You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat. No, just way to much Boston/Pats gear. You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever. Um, no. You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs. - Watching with my dad in the newly finished rec room. You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime. - This is the year, Baby! You know how to make a frappe. - Husband does. You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's. Yummy stuff. You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one. Slowly, too slowly. You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape". Again, true. You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger. Add Jorge Posada to that list please. You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world. And it's killing me that I haven't been. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day. They're just big hills, really. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line. As are Routes 128 and 24. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group. True. You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese. Fall River is way more than 10% Portuguese. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language. p,q,s,t,u,v You've called something "wicked pissa" . Not much. Am guilty of wicked good. You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo. Got one at an illegal tattoo party. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater. Many a time. Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie). Only two Tonys that I can think of. Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times. Hah, there is a Dunkin' freakin' Donuts on every corner 'round here. You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round. My permanent winshield wiper stuff is always de-icer mix. And it's in the trunk. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King. Sorry, nope. You know what candlepin bowling is. Yep. You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax. Nope, but I've gone over to save $50.00. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left. No, because I so hate when people do that. *eh-hem* husband. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop. Holy shit, the other day....remember???? You know what a "regular" coffee is You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts. |
Friday, October 08, 2004
I cannot believe how true this damn thing is
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