See this? Okay, this is pathetic to be admitting this but I was just about to *shiver* touch the door knob when I saw this virtual tarantula on the door. NEXT TO THE KNOB.

Now, a braver girl might have just gone for it - but 'insert chicken noises here' - I'm not brave around eight legged creatures. I snapped a picture of this creature that was barring me from my own home and then I hear my girlie, she's hollering for me. Super.

I throw a hockey ball at the damn thing. Ten, fifteen times. No luck, it moves a bit but that's it. And what do I hate almost as much as I hate spiders? The sound/feel of squishing one. So I tend to throw things at them. Just so you know I have ridiculously bad aim. I took off my shoe. And sadly I threw it enough times to develop a system. Throw the shoe at the spider, he kind of skitters around but no real movement. Throw it a bit above the spider, he moves maybe 2 inches down and one inch back up. To the left, he goes down and to the right. You get the idea. The shoe has now bounced off the door many, many times because of the aforementioned bad aim. My girlie has given up her cries for help (it was an emergency wrapper opening for a snack) and stood on her tiptoes peering out of the door at her arachnophobe mommy. Finally, I got him onto the deck and I jumped, no I leaped over him. With a jogging start. Go ahead say it....'FREAK'.