I'm one of those people who has to see it to believe it. I was a doubter in the whole higher power/god thing. For shame, for shame - I know, but it is what it is.

But lawd almighty.

I have seen the light, I tell you.

And his name is Josh Beckett.

And apparently, I'm not alone.

I have to say, Red Sox game aside, that I'm glad yesterday is finally over.

At one of my jobs, a guy came in about a permit. He's sort of a big guy, girth wise, and is one of those types that is just always so sure of himself - even when he's spouting bullshit - that you sort of think he knows what he's talking about - if you're the listener and you only know part of the story, that is. Plus the ponytail (recently cut off due to court appearances) and tattoos and general alpha maleness. I'm not usually intimidated by the contractors and builders that come in yelling or if I am, I'm a big proponent of the 'kill 'em with kindness or just be totally noncommital' theory. If you don't give them the ammunition it generally takes the wind out of their sails.

Anyway, this one guy gets to me. He's the very definition of sue crazy and he'll switch your words around to suit his purposes if at all possible. Which, with me is TOTALLY possible because I can't remember basically anything. So I make a conscious effort not to talk to him about anything of substance and I most definitely don't quote chapter and verse on anything policywise to him.

Yesterday, because I was the only one in the office he totally ripped into me about laws and depositions and some one who lied (which, she didn't - he was just seeing if I'd take his bait) and then he accused us of not liking Jewish people (??? which, I'll include the question marks here because as far as I know HE IS NOT EVEN JEWISH) and showing favoritism and said he'd sue us all. Which is totally his M.O. and he has a track record to prove it.

This morning I'm getting phone calls and requests to document the whole incident and given new security procedures so that witnesses can be in the office at a moment's notice.

My head is spinning a bit. Mostly, because this guy? Is engaged to a girl who used to be my best friend. I suppose I could wax poetic about our friendship but everything I've tried to type so far sounds all hokey and saccharine, so I won't.

We've sort of let our friendship fade away, she got divorced, a new job, I'd say she started dating but it's been more like a series of engagements, really. I got busier, with work and the kids and it just took a back burner. Even noticing that our friendship was hardly there wasn't a priority. I think it happened before either one of us realized it. We made a few attempts at getting together but everything fell flat and so it was easy for us to go back to hardly talking, outside of occasional emails.

And then she met this guy. And I have to say, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. One look at him and I thought she'd gone off her rocker but she said he treats her well and she knew five minutes after she met him that she was going to marry him. (this was one of our 'try to see each other more' phases of the friendship) So, the benefit of the doubt is what he got. After all, who am I to judge? God? Not so sure. Love at first sight? Absolutely.

The last few times I've seen her it's all in relation to the function of my job. There's bad blood brewing in her neighborhood and it was consuming her. I suggested she take her kids away for a few weeks last summer and clear her mind. It's easy to stoop to some one else's level when you're living it every time you pull in your driveway. She was having none of it and so, in the past year, it's escalated to the civil courts. She sent me an email six months or so ago and asked if she had put me in an awkward position at work. I replied that she hadn't, but that I'd be lying to say it wasn't difficult with so much of the drama centering on her (then) boyfriend.

That was the last I heard from her. Until I saw her at the lacrosse field with a nice engagement ring on. We sat together and I congratulated her but she knew my heart wasn't in it. I'm still mourning the friendship, not much, but it hits me once in awhile - how much I really do miss her.

And now this. With her fiance. The worst part is that I want to call her. And now, I pretty much can't.