Crafty I am not. I can't paint or draw, I can't sew (although that's inching it's way up my list of things I'd like to learn) or polymer clay or knit much more than simple scarves and hats. I certainly do NOT scrapbook and my card making career took a serious nosedive after I made, like, thirty identical invitatations to my sister in law's baby shower. It was kind of boring and sort of pricey. Although I do still love the paper products.

Anyhow...I think I've found it. The cross stitch book mark sort of got me started, I loved the sentiment but really.... a gazillion tiny little x's are so not my style. Then I made my girl a book mark and then one for the boy. Hers was easy peasy with some flowers and his was a test of my new skills with his hockey number, a hockey stick and some arrows (he's been going to archery).

I've been lurking over here for months now and that site is like a cool drink of water. My blood pressure and pulse probably drop by 20% every morning when I visit. She posted a picture of some embroidery that she's done and since then I've been hooked.

And so, I'm debuting my first real completed USABLE (bookmarks aside) project. A library bag for the daughter. It has her name embroidered in yellow on the flowery/camo side but it's been blacked out. And the big camo square is a pocket for her library card. Awwwww.

The boy's bag, which I'm betting he won't even USE, is in progress. The satin stitch isn't quite as vexing as it was during the Dog Bone Debacle of 2007.

So for now, I'm loving it. And you, faithful internet readers, will get to share the joy. Every. Single. Time. I. Finish. Something. Because I? Hardly finish anything.

A short note

My dearest liver,

I want to thank you. I know I've been remiss in your care and you've been nothing but patient and kind all the while silently soldiering on. It's not easy to be in an abusive relationship when you cannot escape (well, maybe with my organ donor card) but I'll do better to understand your needs, to not take advantage.

But those days we've shared together, those Mike's Lemonades in the sun at the beach and those scrumptious margaritas at a favorite restaurant...they were worth all the pain, wouldn't you say? You've only got to buck up for a few more weeks, we're at the halfway point of summer and soon the weekends will be filled with ice rinks and hot cocoa (well, maybe some Bailey's too but just a wee bit. I swear. And no, my fingers aren't crossed. Well alright, they are - but this whole alcohol thing is your gig, isn't it?)

So basically, I just wanted to say thanks. For putting up with me when I know it hasn't been easy. I'm giving you the next few days off, enjoy yourself...store some glucose, filter some proteins...you've earned it.

*hiccup*
Jenny

Second Verse, Same as the First

Some good friends are renting a cottage here so we're off, for the second day, to enjoy some boogie boarding, beach gear schlepping and most excellent hospitality.


And if you think I have it too good...what'll be in the back of my mind? The owner of the husband's company is being sentenced to federal prison in two weeks, a hundred employees went down to four day work weeks, they lost a multi million dollar job earlier this week and now there's talk of a massive layoff. In August! Huzzah! See, karma's biting me in the ass even before I pack the cooler.

Training camp opens this week.

My Fantasy Team is set. Check out that lineup - WooT!

My grieving over the loss of Asante isn't quite complete. He'll be kicking himself come SuperBowl Sunday, no doubt.

And when cold weather brings this

and this

I'm ready for summer to end.

Not really, but seriously - playoff baseball and Patriot's football? Sounds like heaven to me.

I can't promise there won't be spoilers in the comments

9:15 p.m. - finally, kids are snoozing.

2:21 a.m. - page 482. Crying. I was right, unable to put it down.

4:28 a.m. - finished.

Brain still whirring, I think I fell asleep around five a.m. anxious to hear what others are thinking.

Woke at eight fifteen, wondering who else has finished it. Wondering how, if you have it, you could NOT have finished it.

Patience - a virtue I totally do NOT have

The stars were aligned for a perfect weekend with my dear friend Harry. I cleared my slate for the book, to be delivered on Saturday by 7 p.m. I could read all night, I WOULD read all night, couldn’t imagine how I could put it down.

Then I get the first email, from Amazon…USPS shipping it says. Um, no. The postman doesn’t deliver packages to my doorstep…they’ll hold it at the post office, which in this small town is CLOSED on Saturdays. I call myself (see Amazon’s help section for more on this feature) and Brian answers. Brian, and I have to say I was extra happy about this – was not from Delhi – and I could understand every blessed word. Even when the blessed words were telling me that there was no way to specify UPS shipping, that the package was already on its way but that he’d refund me the shipping charge. Damn Brian.

Hold on, what’s this? Another email from Amazon…telling me my package has shipped via UPS and click here to check the status. Never mind that the status checker just clicked me over to Amazon where it said it was being “processed”. Never mind, never mind, never mind. I will ignore what Brian has told me and the suspicious lack of tracking info.

Friday comes. Maine or no Maine? Harry would wait for me. Especially if I spent my weekend in a world devoid of cable, internet and radio. Well, unless they blurted something out during the Red Sox radio broadcast, I’d be safe. And the Sox played again on Sunday afternoon, leaving me free to read and not be sucked in by this new and improved Julio Lugo.

I arrive home, anxiously scouting around the kitchen…hmm, cordless phone, takeout menu, hardened papier mache balloons. No box. I wonder if my husband has placed it reverently on my bed. My husband? Not likely, but one can never be too sure. I jog up the stairs. Nothing. Back to the kitchen and then I see the card. The card from the Post Office with the “Available for pick up on Monday” box checked. Monday when I have to work until seven p.m.

Grr.

I check Surviving Grady this morning. Super. Cancer survivor Jon Lester was called up and is the starting pitcher tonight. Can he hold off his triumphant return for just one more evening…pulleeeeze? No? The world DOESN’T revolve around me? Yeah, well, blahblahblah.

I renig on my vow to remain internet celibate. I visit the blogroll and find little mention of Potter with the exception of Babelbabe who has me nearly dying because the body count is so large she has lost track.

Five hours until I can kiss my little cretins goodnight.

I'm also missing my fantasy football draft.

First we're heading here.

I mean, wand-making; taking your picture with Fang; Facial Transfigurations?

How could we resist?

And then I'm WE'RE heading up to Maine. The kids and I, with my parents, to their cabin. It's mostly borne of guilt, the kids want me to go - my mom thinks I've been so wanting to go but just unable to get away (she actually said "Good for you!" when I told her I was coming along - as if it's been killing me not to be there) and so, I'm going. And if you don't think guilt is a powerful motivator just remember I'm leaving Mr. Potter unopened until I return on Sunday.

That, my friends, is dedication to one's family. And guilt. Okay, and a smidge of love too.

I will not return to the internet until after I finish book seven. I have visions of spoilers, lurking unannounced at every turn.

My ten year old son just opened his Tooth Tunes toothbrush (that he got for Easter) and said...

Look there's a speaker. The music doesn't really come out of your teeth?!?!

Please, MENSA just keep your application, I think he's all set.

TGIM

Night one:
I made a last minute decision to attend a book group meeting. It was Thursday, I had just gone for a swim and I figured, what the hell - I'll only be an hour or two, no one will stay late and I love rehashing the book with some different opinions.

I pull in, there's only one extra car... I'm hoping I have the right house, hoping that a few more people will show up as the hostess is newish to the group and I don't know her that well. Well, there's only four of us total and we proceed to discuss the book for about ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

I got home at TWO a.m. - I've no idea how it got to be 1:45 and why the hostess didn't do a 'stand up and yawn' around midnight, but she didn't and we stayed and stayed and talked and talked. A good time but I was having a friend and her kids over on Friday and I knew I'd be paying for it.

Night Two:
The friends arrived at 10:30 a.m. and left, when I did, at 6:45 p.m. We swam, we grilled, we margaritad.

I was yawning preeeety much constantly by 6:30 so I stuck to caffeine while SP and I were enjoying some pre-Potter munchies. The movie was good and darkish, much like the book. Too bad the acting is just meh. Well, with the exception of Alan Rickman. Could anyone else be Snape? Ever? No. And Bellatrix...looking forward to more of Bellatrix in the HBP movie. There were a lot of shortcuts, probably most of them necessary but as I had just reread the book I still felt a bit gypped. Still, I was glad I saw it and even happier that there's only one week until Book 7. Did I mention the movie started at 10:45 p.m.? Home by 1:46 a.m. Yawn.

Night Three:
I can only remember that we took the kids fishing in the evening and my plans for their 8 p.m. bedtime fell by the wayside. After that I worked on finishing up my daughter's new library/knitting/polly pocket bag. She wanted a dog embroidered on it so I set to work because it was the only thing I had left to do and I really wanted it done. So, because their bedtime was more like 9:30 p.m. and I'm not the speediest of embroiderers (damn you, satin stitch!) I was up until two a.m. Again.


Night Four:
Passed out at 8 p.m. in the girlie's bed and slept until 8:30 this morning.


Lamest post ending. Ever. Lamest post by Jenny. Ever.

Sorry, it's Monday.

My Late Eight and Eight More - Actually Ten More Because I Can't Do the New Math

Sarah Louise tagged me awhile back and I've been laaazy about posting. Really, really lazy. So here's my 8.

1. My favorite quick breakfast? An english muffin with a smidge of butter, some peanut butter and cottage cheese with chives.

2. I forgot my three year blogiversary. Is that really what it's called? Blogiversary?

3. I love where I live and don't ever seriously consider selling. But every once in awhile, for a day or two, I get obsessed with the Maine real estate scene, half convincing myself I would move there if the husband could find a reasonable job.

4. I am so NOT digging those french manicured toe nails.

5. I totally love video games and I suck at each and every one of them. I've only ever beaten the Sims games for my gameboy. Usually what happens is they get hard and then I quit playing. Which is why I like the Sims and Harvest Moon. But then, if I don't suck I just lose interest. Oh, wait. I beat the Little Mermaid game on my Sega about fifteen years ago. How's that for retahded. That I actually remember beating this game but I can't remember my kid's first words. Nice.

6. I love a new box of crayons or colored pencils.

7. Am going to see the Harry Potter movie this weekend. It better be a damn sight better than #1, #2 and #4. Since I've only like The Prisoner of Azkaban so far, I don't have super high hopes for this one but maybe that way I won't be disappointed. But the book? I. Cannot. Wait.

8. I have a sick old lady crush on Phil of the Future

And Oh My Christ. Blackbird has tagged me too. Eight more? We'll see.

9. I have an insane aversion to hair and all things teeth. Now, I still go to the dentist and the hairdresser but am completely skeeved out by any talk of scraping, the whole root canal issue for the boy gives me the chills and the hair on the floor of the salon? Almost dry heaves.

10. I stopped wearing a watch a few years ago and my digital clock in the car has never worked (well, not true - it usually comes back to life for a few weeks each winter and as an aside...WTF?) and I've become really good at knowing what time it is anyway.

11. I am embarrassed that I actually think that's a skill. Would I make the lamest talent show performer ever? Um, yes.

12. When I was a kid I wanted to be on Sesame Street in the worst way.

13. I wish I could sing. Or type. I typed sign four fucking times before I got it right.

14. I love the smell of coconut.

15. I get all anxious now over the stupidest of things these days. Like planning to go camping or even out for the day...not that I worry about what could go wrong more like I worry about every available possibility (can't forget the camera, grab a sweatshirt it could be cold, bring the kite maybe it'll be windy, put a book in the car you might want to read) - I'm driving myself batty.

16. I always lose one earring. Unless I hate the earrings.

17. Last time I checked I still had a scented magic marker I stole from CCD, it smells like peppermint. And I've had it for like 20 years, at least. I got to quit CCD when they wouldn't confirm me so it had to be before I was 15. Stealing from a church...what a sweetheart.

18. My car needs to be vacuumed.

Not At All Uplifting

This was the longest 'not really a vacation' week for me ever. I'm a bit concerned as we've got alot more summer left and the kids have been gold medal winners in the Summer Bickerlympics.

They have effectively been banned from TV and computer privileges. When they stop the sniping they may, MAY get reinstated. We do let them watch, on occasion, if we're watching something they might be interested in...it usually ends up being a thirty minute show (Dirty Jobs or How It's Made or some other Discovery Channel thing) sometime during the day. I save Weeds for after their bedtime.

The 4th seems like like forever ago. We went to the cheesiest fireworks display in the next town over, I think it was maybe a few nights before the forth. At least they were close by and there was no traffic. Which probably explains the previously mentioned cheesiness.

The rest of the week is kind of foggy

(literally)

... there was a cookout or two, a trip to New Hampshire, some thunderstorm watching (click the top picture for a lightening bolt), a trip to the beach and I'm sure a few other things.

all I know is, I. Am. Exhausted.

I feel more like an unpaid babysitter than a mother. An unpaid babysitter that can't even go to the bathroom or talk on the phone (even my minute and a half conversations have been too long) without either A. listening to a soon to be argument or B. worrying that they are arguing, just too quietly for me to hear. Choice B is usually not justified, but now I'm a bit gun-shy and am busy thinking the worst. I find that I cannot wait to go to work, the grocery store...anywhere. And I hate it, my stomach actually hurts just from typing that out. I didn't want my summer to be like this and I feel like a colossal failure on top of it because, y'know, why can't they just be nice to each other? At this point I don't even require nice, just mere tolerance of each other's breathing patterns would be acceptable. Even this lowering of my standards has me depressed.