I'm heading out to Ikea today. I really need a dkrogpf and a ergplat and that's the only place I can find them.

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free

Okay. So Lisa tagged me. Much to my delight. Or not, but I like her and therefore will totally do this.

Five things y'all don't know about me.

1. I didn't learn to dive until I was in high school.
2. I have a huge aversion to hair as soon as it leaves its head. The floor at the hairdressers makes me just about gag.
3. When I was a young lass I wanted to marry a mafioso guy.
4. When I put my son's clothes in his closet I sort them by color. That is, IF they leave the basket.
5. I equate my marriage to one of those giant stone ocean jetties. Totally rocky and strangely solid.

Howzat?

And last week's luau? For the boy? So anticlimatic. He stayed in the gym and played dodgeball...for two hours. He was completely oblivious to the girls milling around and all he could talk about was that out of the 75 or so kids playing he was the second to the last one standing and his entire team was chanting his name at the top of his lungs. Who needs girls?

A Book Meme

Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback? I usually read trade paperbacks but it would depend on the book, like, for instance - I won't be waiting for the last Harry Potter to go to paperback before I buy it. I've also been known to upgrade to hardcover for a book I have in paperback and happen to have fallen in love with.

Amazon or brick and mortar? Amazon for prices, brick and mortar for sheer enjoyment.

Barnes & Noble or Borders? I like Barnes & Noble well enough but Borders is A.) More accessible; B.) less expensive; C.) big on coupons; D.) offering up a nice holiday thing where you get a percentage of the total amount you spend put into a christmas clubish thing. Yeah, okay, this sat in my drafts folder for less than a week and Borders just did away with their holiday savings club thing. Supah.

Bookmark or dog-ear? Bookmark, you heathens.

Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random? Okay, when I was a kid - I totally libraried my books...tape on the bindings with an F for fiction and the first three letters of the author's last name. I'm a bit more laid back now.

Keep, throw away, or sell? I'm a huge fan of the Paperback Book Swap (see sidebar for linkage). It's perfect for those quick reads and all meh books. But mostly it's keep. Much to the chagrin of my husband.

Keep dust jacket or toss it? Keep.

Read with dust jacket or remove it? Hmm. Mostly with. Unless I'm taking the book somewhere, then I tend to leave it home. I tend to bring a book anywhere I can so they're often jammed in a tote bag and I cringe at ripping those covers.

Short story or novel? Novels. But I love T.C. Boyle's After the Plague.

Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket? Harry Potter. I've read all of Lemony Snicket too (the boy and I had a contest going when he was in second grade and we whipped through ten of them) and I liked Lemony well enough, loved the vocabulary but the last book? Was TERRIBLE. And there's no way I was as anxious to read it as I am for the seventh Potter.

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? Unless I'm falling asleep, chapter break.

“It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”? Dark and Stormy.

Buy or Borrow? Buy. I borrow from the library too, but not too often. I find I've got alot on my 'to read' list right here on my shelves. We pass around books at book club too and there's a girl at work who likes to swap but I just remembered I'm missing Bel Canto and Little Children. Both of which I want back.

New or used? Both.

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? All three. But reviews and recommendations definitely surpass browsing.

Tidy ending or cliffhanger? Either is okay but since tidy ending doesn't mean happy ending I'd guess I prefer tidy. But not too tidy.

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? How about 'any free minute' reading?

Stand-alone or series? Both.

Favorite series? Am enjoying Nevada Barr's Anna Pigeon series, the illustious Mr. Potter, um and do two books count as a series? Yes? Then Kent Haruf's Eventide and Plainsong. Oh, and the Richard Jury books by Martha Grimes...although I haven't read those in awhile. And there were these mysteries, about a nun...gosh, I loved those books and cannot remember the name of even one of them much less the author.

Favorite children's book? Favorite YA book? I loved A Wrinkle in Time and The Phantom Tollbooth. Cripes, I read alot of books when I was younger and they come back in fits and starts. My memory ain't what it used to be. (Is there an apostrophe in ain't? aint? hmm.)

Favorite book of which nobody else has heard? I don't usually read undiscovered books...

Favorite books read last year? The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood, In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson and maybe the Kite Runner (was that only a year ago?), The Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Favorite books of all time? Bel Canto, A Fine Balance, Plainsong, The Handmaid's Tale, Watership Down, East of Eden, Lonesome Dove.

Least favorite book you finished last year? Running with Scissors. Ugh.

What are you reading right now? Killer Angels by Michael Shaara but I'm finishing it tonight. Again, this sat in drafts....now I'm reading Goodnight, Nobody by Jennifer Weiner.

What are you reading next? The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. Maybe. Probably. We'll see.

Okay.

I'm back.

They WON!

Next week is the Championship Game for the entire conference. You can bet we've got our fingers crossed.

Must go. The girlie is trying to sleep but is coughing her brains out. I just didn't want to be accused of making you wait a WEEK for the results or anything *clears throat - looks at SP*.

What? You DON'T want to come?

Too early?

Well, you're coming anyway. At least for a few minutes.

Tomorrow. Playoff Game. Six a.m.

You guys want to come?

1. James/Rocky/Droopy Eyed Drama Queen Malcontent.

I am thinking it is early in the game for these men, although I use that term loosely, to be keeping him around because no member of ANY jury would ever vote for him. He disgusted me. I was hoping, with all the editorial foreshadowing, that he would be the one to go. He should have been the one to go. But the "men" were lacking a body part that would typically define them as such (read: BALLS) and they voted for Anthony. Whose only fault was not telling J/R/DEDQM to go fuck himself - which would have gained him what? Respect? Yeah, maybe in the movies. I did want to shake him and say "Don't you put one more goddamned log on that fire" because cripes almighty - but I don't see that ass taking that as his wake up call to treat Anthony with more respect, to change his entire personality from that of a complete moronic hypocrite to someone with one iota of decency. Not when he has the cameras and the other boys to show off for. And Jeff, goading him into fighting back...not sure I liked that either.


2. Okay, Red Sox. Papelbon, Papelbot, wow, not much sexier than a guy who knows how to throw a ball like that whatever you want to call him. Starter? Closer? I'd love to see him start, it seems that's what he'd like too. But. Ninth Inning, one run lead...who better to come in and shut another team down? Tavares? Not on your life. The mere thought leaves me queasy. But freaking who else is there? Timlin? Bwahahaha. I don't think he's got enough good innings in him per season to have that job full time.

And Matsusaka? The man can throw. Many, many pitches. So many pitches Varitek needs both hands for signals. I am a bit giddy about this.

3. There is a fourth and fifth grade luau at the boy's school this weekend. And some, not really sure how many...have dates. My boy is NOT among the hormonal crowd as of yet. His best friend, however, is. Some stricter parents are not letting their kids attend because of all the pairing up - I'm not going that route because my guess is that it's going to be a lot of boys hanging out with boys and girls with girls and there won't be all that much to worry about. But. I may go and play hall monitor with a friend of mine. I hate to over parent and I'm really not too concerned about the boy - girls are way more trouble than they're worth to him at this point. But I want to know what everyone else is doing so we can have a bit of a conversation here and there about it. In the past weeks I've heard of a few fourth grade boys that have actual fourth grade girlfriends. They go to the movies, the mall. Actual outings. Huh? Is it just me? Is this acceptable? I'm saying a big fat 'no it ain't' but maybe I'm out of the loop. No. I'm not. I'm just kind of blown away that other parents are letting their babes grow up so fast, too fast.

So. That's it. I'm off to conference with the boy's teacher since I haven't even seen her since the open house in September and she's not scheduled any parent/teacher conferences with me so far (I set this one up). She did write on his report card that she's concerned she's not seeing his best work. Um. His quarterly report card? How come I haven't heard about this before? Ergh. I also get to discuss the teacher that gives my son a stomach ache because she keeps them so long they have to run through the empty halls to catch their bus.

I have opinions

on last night's Survivor

on the state of the Red Sox pitching

on fourth graders who are taking dates to this Friday's luau.

But first, I must shop. We are sorely lacking in the grocery department.

A Hat Trick of Sorts

Good news - the dog, the cancer...they removed the entire lump and no other treatment is needed. Wahoo!

Of course, we're still treating him for the lyme disease he's got and he's still wearing the collar so he doesn't scratch open the wound...but pffft...that's nothing.

2nd Wahoo! My husband got the call to go back to work starting the first week of April. Not that we won't miss him but I can reclaim my space again in two short weeks.

He's gotten a decent amount of work done on the girl's bed...I'll have to get a picture or two. He might be taking it to his dad's to assemble it - the inlaws have a big cellar and he's going to need some space to work on it (trim boards and such). It's going to weigh a ton, not sure how he's planning to transport it.

3rd Wahoo! The boys grades have gone through the roof. He was doing well before and now? He's doing really well. Plus the girlie is starting to read the easiest of chapter books. It is music to my ears.

I suppose it's called insomnia. It's after two a.m. and I'm not a bit tired.

I just finished watching a movie (12 and Holding) and I'm contemplating watching some Battlestar Galactica on the iPod - so as not to wake anyone.

We had a surprise four inches of snow tonight. Which, after this snowless winter - I don't really mind. It's sitting on top of the two inches of solid ice that froze up last Friday. It's perfect snowball/snowman snow...I'm hoping it doesn't rain tonight (this morning?) and ruin it.

I want to be tired not bored and antsy.

Last week I wasn't paying attention and put an earring in the second holes in one of my ears. I haven't worn the whole two earring thing in, let's say, at least ten years. Okay, well now that long neglected earlobe is freaking killing me. I've never had an sort of pierced ear infection and now? I think I do. WTF.

See, how boring and yet chatty I am? Be glad you aren't here...I would be talking nonsense while you did your best to stay awake and humor me. Or you would fall asleep and I would be awake and resentful.

Yeah, so I'm already resentful because you all are sleeping. And I? Am not.

Right Now

I am blogging, figuring a way to get out of cooking dinner and am quietly amazed that the kids are so anxious for our annual St. Patties Day traditions.

My son is playing Runescape during his break from writing yet another book report (Daniel Boone biography: pick five things important to the character, write a paragraph about each of them and bring in an example of each item - only two can be pictures)

My girlie is making St. Patrick's Day decorations with entirely too much glue and glitter but she is happy and quiet and will enjoy using my little dustbuster type thing to suck up the mess.

My husband is FINALLY making the daughter's bed. It's going to be a captain's bed (I think) with four large and two small drawers underneath Plus a cabinet door that will access a narrow space behind the drawers. I figure I'll put the wrapping supplies back there. With an 1100 square foot house storage options must be creative. Every bed we saw in the stores was just not quite right...drawers not deep enough, shoddy construction, ugly finish, four drawers when she really needs six...did I mention she shares her closet with some of our stuff (we have no closet) and the vacuum? She needs six drawers. He's using maple, which he likes to work with and I like to look at.

It's snowing here today...at least it's supposed to. Now it's just windy flurries, barely accumulating. The kids haven't had a snow day all year so today I let the boy stay home (in all fairness he was coughing and looked kind of tired??) and the girlie should be leaving in fifteen minutes...not sure what's happening there. She's missed alot of school recently and she should go but it's kindergarten. And somehow the house just feels better with her in it.

The pup has cancer.

I wish I knew more but

A. We got the newer vet, the one the practice is NOT named after. I don't really like her. She talks way too fast, seems to always be rushed or to have some other very important thing she needs to be doing during the brief moment she spends talking to you. After his surgery she didn't even come out to give us any post op directions, I had questions and the office girl had to run and get her. And even then she came out answered half of it and left while I glanced down at my dog.

B. My husband answered the phone. At best he's only good for being able to relay about half of the information he's heard. But speaking with this vet? Probably a quarter. He said there were alot of numbers/test results etc. She did tell him that they got the whole thing and he said she started talking about some treatment options then told him we'd discuss it on Tuesday when he goes to get his stitches out.

A few nights ago he was walking around and doing this cry/whine/howl thing. I thought he was sick, maybe he'd gotten into something outside or whatever. So he'd whine, I let him out. Ten minutes later he'd bark and I'd let him in. This went on until 1:30 a.m. when my husband took over. Come to find out he was going outside and just standing on the deck or on the lawn next to the deck. Then he'd come to the door and bark to come in.

My diagnosis? Can'tclimbthestairswiththisstupidcollaronand
Iwanttosleeponyourbedroomflooritis.

He wasn't ill. He didn't need to go out. He wasn't even lonely - I was awake and in the living room with him until 1:30 and my husband got out of bed and slept downstairs after that. The dog whined off and on for seven hours because he was bummed out.

Pretty much what I'll be doing today. But quietly.

And blah blah blah with more hockey

So first I'll apologize because well, enough with the hockey already.

But it's the busiest time of the season. Playoffs, extra ice time, tryouts and now somehow it has come to pass that our 1000 square foot home is the place to be on the weekends. Got a few hours to kill between practices? You'll find six boys in our living room in the midst of a knee hockey tournament and three dads and a mom or two in the kitchen with me whipping up grilled cheese and something or other I either pull out of the freezer or out of the stuff people, very thoughtfully, stop and pick up. No plans on Wednesday afternoon (this would be the prison guard/third shift working coach and my waiting to go back to work husband)? Give us a call, we can hang out. Do our early evening practices leave you feeling like you've got nowhere to really go but still want to have some pizza/soup/chili/beer? Swing on by.

The tryouts did go well. The boy made the B team easily and was what we call "on the bubble" for the A. Meaning, while he didn't make the As, he's one of three kids who will be evaluated again in the fall. They'll be checking out more than three kids this fall but not too many more and with two open spots left on the team for just this occasion, well, he's still got a shot.

Either way, proud of the kid.

But. Coach called. He told my husband to put in his application to coach the B team. This year's coach was still skating the kids around cones in February, not practicing plays...just a mess. He says they're looking to change up the coach and that my dear darling betrothed should apply - he'd be a good fit.

Great news?

Sort of. In the next breath he tells my husband that in the fall he'll be given a list of five or so names of kids that could fill those two spots. And if the boy is on the list? He'll take him and my husband will be coaching a team that his son doesn't play for. Maybe not a huge deal in some sports but in a 32 week season it's a big commitment. Especially if it means missing his games or a tournament. Last year's coach has already put in an application and no one else has stepped up...so it could be a crummy coach if the husband doesn't apply. Not a recipe for a fun year.

Our other concern is that my boy will get automatically taken off the list if his dad is coaching another team. Thinking that they're doing us a favor, maybe. Not sure how it would work at this point. Holding him back, while it wouldn't kill him, isn't really the compromise we want to make.

The husband & the coach are going to hang out tomorrow afternoon and discuss the options.

Why can't it ever be easy?

Monday Meme

I saw this over at Sneeky's and Cady's and thought, oh hey, I freaking love housework. Perfect.


aprons - y/n? No. And I need one. I'm messy when I cook but I do clean as I go.
baking - Meh. Not my thing.
clothesline - y/n? I've wanted one for a few years now...maybe this summer.
donuts - ever made them? No. And probably never will.
everyday - one homemaking thing you do everyday? Make the beds.
freezer - do you have a separate deep freezer? yes. and I might die without it.
garbage disposal - y/n? No. They will RUIN your septic system.
handbook - y/n? hahahaha. yeah, right.
ironing - love it or hate it? hate, hate, hate.
junk drawer - where is it? In the microwave cabinet. i clean it out once a year or so.
kitchen - design and decorating? Reddish beadboard, the top half of the walls are tan. Handmade built in bench set and handmade oak cabinets. Hardwood floors.
love - what is your favorite part of homemaking? When it's done. Second place answer: cooking.
mop - y/n? Well, sort of. Mostly swiffer wet jet.
nylons - wash them by hand or in the washer? I usually wear tights, if anything. But 'washer'.
oven - do you use the window or open it to check? Open it.
pizza - what do you put on yours? peppers & onions or meatballs
quiet - what do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment? Read. Books, blogs or a magazine.
recipe card box - Nope, no box.
style of house – Log cabinish.
tablecloths and napkins - y/n? Um, no. Well, we use napkins - obviously. But as a Certified Laundry Hater...why create more?
under the kitchen sink – Cleaning supplies, trash can, dustpan & sweeper.
vacuum - how many times a week? At least twice. See photo in previous post.
wash - how many loads do you do a week? I knew there had to be a laundry question. Cripes, I've never counted but at least seven.
x’es - do you keep a list of things to do and cross them off? Not all the time, but if I have alot to do, sure.
yard - who does what? We both mow and spread mulch and plant stuff and trim trees & bushes. But he's in charge of the firewood, fertilizing and honestly - he does more mowing & raking than I do. And actually the son does some too.
zzz’s - what is your last homemaking task for the day? taking care of the pets (guinea pig hay & letting the dog out, making sure he has water and that the furniture is covered with books or those big lego boards as Baxter rather enjoys sleeping on the couch). Oh, and in the winter - filling the wood stove for the night.

Pucks and Pups

My boy has hockey tryouts today, for next season. The coach recommended he go out for the A team. I'm nervous for him. Nervous he'll make it and whoa, it's the A TEAM, holy skating. And nervous he won't make it and be disappointed. His coach has basically said he'd be a B if he doesn't make the A's, which hasn't really registered with him yet. Either way it's a step up but I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for him. Would you mind crossing a finger or two between noon and two?

So the dog is well. We don't have the biopsy results back yet but the surgery went well. He's got alot of stitches and is wearing one of those elizabethian collars. Today he snuck down into the cellar to lie in front of the woodstove. Let's just say he enjoys lying with his front paws on the bricks and with his body, like, 10 inches from the stove. And he's black - a veritable heat magnet. He generally comes upstairs panting, just about to pass out and he's so hot to the touch that it HURTS. The dog freakin' burns us.

So today the girlie lets him in from outside where, earlier in the day, his first time out unsupervised - he breaks the collar. The $20.00 collar that was barely 12 hours old. Okay, so in he comes. I'm upstairs getting dressed and a few minutes go by...I remember I forgot to blockade the cellar door...the gateway to hell (and yes, it sometimes IS that hot down there). I run downstairs calling his name. I get to the cellar and I see the dog, in front of the stove, loathe to move. The goddamn collar is melted. It's all warped and soft and burning hot. Baxter is blissfully unaware. I scorch my hand trying to reshape the dang thing before it cools off.

So, a day in to this ten day collar wearing thing he's looking like a jucket. All duct tape and warpy. (Jucket is a very regional term for, um, a bub. As in a 'bub jucket'. How to explain...Sort of like a backwater, hillbilly type - I guess) See, learn something new every day.

The garbage disposal dog is in for surgery today. He had this cyst/tumor that had to be removed toot sweet and so back to the vet's he went. We also found out he has lyme disease, so we started antibiotic-ing him for that too. They're going to biopsy his lump and, I guess, find out if it's cancer. Which, as I set sail on the river denial, I cannot even comprehend.

Did I mention he also eats the carrot noses right off of a snowman's face? Yeah, well he does. Plus he actually eats the snowmen if you don't stack up the snowman parts fast enough.

Barring any troublesome medical treatments for the dog, I am wanting to plan a weekend away. With the kids, I suppose. Unless I can finagle a girl's weekend somehow. I'm getting cabin fever - it's either cold or frigidly cold up here, with no snow and when it does warm up a bit? It. Is. Muddy.

The husband's layoff is coming to an end, hopefully in the next few weeks. He has gotten so much done. NOT.

He's made two shutters for the shed, which are nice enough and look like we could've ordered them out of this catalog. But. When I orginally saw them in that catalog, I thought that even I could put something like that together. If I were so inclined. But I'm not, I wasn't and he was laid off. So he made two. Oh so productive. But they are kind of nice so I guess I won't say too much. Yeah, right.

We Are Lunatics

Eight and a half months. Football season comes and goes as does basketball. We overlap the first four to five weeks of baseball season too.

We get to the rink a full hour before a game because the coach wants them dressed and ready at least twenty minutes prior to faceoff. Make it thirty to forty minutes during playoffs.

We drive, usually, a minimum of a half hour to actually get to the rink du jour. In this case we're lucky...we know folks traveling out of state every other weekend.

We spend untold amounts in what I like to refer to as a snack tax. Or that's what I call the spare change/dollars that are spent on post game slushes for the boy and during the game gumballs and such for the girlie.

We can quote the Herb Brooks Miracle speech by heart. Or almost.

We travel with blankets, winter hats, gloves and jackets. Year round.

We sacrifice sleepovers, school functions and birthday parties. Sacrifice is the wrong word. Opt out is a better choice.

The parents rate the rinks by temperature and visibility. The kids know the ice surface of every rink within playing distance and they have definite preferences.

We pray for a good coach, convenient ice times and nice parents. This year we got a hat trick.

Our team, at 19-1-3 is the second best team in the league (out of, about fifty teams or so). They are not a crazy scoring machine - we have a superb goalie and a stellar defense. Today was the first round of the playoffs and we played the first place team - who've scored twice as many goals as our guys (and girl) and were undefeated.

Our coach who's a police officer and prison guard, is all business probably 95 percent of the time. The kids respect the heck out of him. And I have to say, so do I. He knows hockey like no one I've ever met. He's fair and honest and inspires the kids to want to do their best. He tolerates no shit. Not from his own kids, not from the team, not from other teams. He's only coached for three years, this is his first winning team. He is so proud of these kids and they are proud to skate for him. It is awesome to watch.

Honestly, I didn't expect them to win today. I was hoping they'd be able to keep them down to 3 or 4 goals (down from their 8 goal a game average). We don't have alot of big goal scorers - Most games have been won by a goal, maybe two. My hopes weren't high. The boy however (and the coach's son - who happens to be a great friend of the boy) did not even entertain the idea of losing.

And as my boy would say "We schooled 'em."

4-1.

Not a blowout by any stretch of the imagination but a good, solid win. Those kids have never played better. The other team wasn't as tough as they thought but from the moment the puck dropped our kids were gunning to win that game. They want that big trophy and they're one game closer.

I say we when I refer to hockey...as in "We played a good game". I don't always do it and generally it's only when talking to other parents but then I started listening. We all do it. Yeah, some will say we live vicariously. And maybe we do. Except that hockey is nothing BUT a team sport, and at this age, parents included. The kids on the ice - the parents off of it. We spend alot of time together...I see these folks more than I see my parents and my best friends. We commiserate over hot chocolate and coffee. We compare practice drills and discuss the pros and cons of composite sticks. We carpool and share blankets. We're in it together.

The coach could not finish his post game speech. He got a little choked up and gave the floor over to my husband and the other assistants. I think he'll be the coach I compare all future coaches by...which, sorry new coaches, but the bar has been set.

We invited the coach and his family over yesterday after the game for some pizza, beer and a post game recap. We wives figure if they can relive the plays with each other then we won't have to pretend to remember each deke and save later on. A few hours later another family shows up. Then a few dads. Then another dad. The next thing we know it's after ten p.m. - the pizza's gone, the beer - just about, the kids are on their fourth wind, the wives are wondering how we're getting them all up for school the next day, the husbands are debating the finer points of men's league hockey and A team tryouts.

We kick everyone out and my boy looks at me and says "That. Was. Awesome."

So, there ya go.