The Return of the Brain Sucker

TV. How do I love thee? Lost, The Bachelor and Wife Swap. Survivor, The Apprentice and HGTV and more - so much more- DVDs and Playstation. Ahhhh, bliss. I hope you enjoyed your rest at the repair shop my friend, you will be getting the workout of your life in these next few days.

Is it crazy to watch the repairman deliver the circuit boards with clasped hands and a giddy grin?

Considering the fact that said repairman was a minimum of two hours late (between 12-3 p.m. should not mean 5:07 p.m.) and was at our home for an hour and a half (making two phone calls to the office for "now how do you program the vertical to the blank with the whatsit and the hoogy?") And didn't bring the right torque wrench gizmo. And needed my husband to lift the TV. And upon screwing the back on to the TV caught a piece of the towel the TV was resting on which later had to be wrenched out. And had a strange, slightly unbalanced giggle.

Suffice it to say there was alot of eye rolling in the kitchen.

Picture Perfect

Little did Lisa know when she helped me out tonight that she'd have to look at Bill Belichick's mug every time she visited me. At least for tonight. I'm having trouble with the squishing down effect (the technical term :) ) of the picture in the header. But que sera, sera! Thanks Lisa!!

I think I'll be reposting my musical guilty pleasure. I miss it.

I present our president

Click here

A blog question

This blogging thing is making me crazy. I've spent much too long trying to get my sidebar back up where it belongs. Sometimes it's the pictures so I deleted the entire posts. Still no luck. Then I shortened the title of the last post and *zoom* back to the top. What-stinkin-ever.

Okay, I have a question and if it requires a super technical answer let me know because I'm not that techno-savvy. I want to be able to post pictures up where my title is. Hard? Please say no. Well, don't lie. But if it's super hard than I'll just stick with what I've got.

And now that I've done the little recommendation thing in the sidebar and even, sadly, updated it already - I've decided that I don't think I really like it. This is only because I've already deleted all of the other links I had. I can't imagine people were clicking on them anyway. Maybe I'll give it a day or two.

Bzzz..Slap....Bzz..Slap....Bzzz...Oww.

Apparently until it gets cold enough to kill the mosquitos we are under siege. They've threatened the town next door with cancellation of all fall sports until the little eastern equine encephalitis and west nile carrying sons of bitches freeze to death. Two people and three horses have died so far so it is kind of serious. Okay, maybe not kind of but actual serious. (And yes, it is necessary to use swears when describing them.)

Especially if you're made of mosquito food like me and the kiddos. Apparently our blood tastes like freshly buttered popcorn/chocolate chip ice cream/warm baked bread/turkey dinner with all the fixin's - All mixed up into one. We get chewed alive. All the time. My daughter welts up so badly I double check because it looks like an allergic reaction to a bee sting. We slap on the SuperDuper Outdoorman Deet Chemical bath and head to the park. Nothing like chemicals leaching into your system all evening.

Now this is progress....

Wicked fast clean (or mostly) floors

Plastic Containers for every damn thing

Fun with Shampoo and Soap

Wicked fast clean (or mostly) bathroom and camper

Less Ruined Clothes

I'm a big fan of progress. If I can save time and make life even one iota easier for myself at a reasonable price I'm there.

Although, with that being said, what I enjoy most of all is going up to Maine and camping where we have no electricity, heat, water or bathrooms (we have sort of a privy toilet right now, behind a tarp). The cabin we plan to build will have gas lights, a woodstove, a pitcher pump and an outhouse. So I guess I also enjoy a vacation from progress too. And to be truthful, I pack the squishable snacks in one of those containers, wipe the tables down with those fast wipes and when I come home I get stains out of the kids clothes and let them have fun with shampoo in the nice hot bath.

I make no sense.

So we careen off of the bridge straight into the Chicago River. One of us has been shot and one of us seems paralyzed. Good thing we're doctors because nothing fazes us. We calmly use the cell phone to dial 911 and tell them that indeed we're in a car in the river and BTW we're sinking. Then we hang up. Because we're doctors and nothing fazes us. We will not panic until there is virtually no air left in the car and then only for a second. ER. If I didn't love Maura Tierney and the Bend it Like Beckham chick so much I probably wouldn't watch it. But still I sometimes get sucked in for the catastrophe du jour. I have a friend who is an actual ER nurse and I've never warned her about all of the upcoming trauma she's going to have to deal with. I'll let her know that it's not uncommon for a tank to come on by and just start rolling over people and cars in the parking lot.

Actually, I really don't mind ER so much. It just gets so 'how can we out do the last big thing' that I get eye-rollie.

They don't call it School Daze for nothing

The boy/school situation has been partially fixed. He's bringing home work that's just plain not up to his abilities - incompletes and things like that. He told me that he's totally unable to concentrate in class. Kids are talking, out of their seats, asking him for help, etc. And at home, phew, the non-stop attitude.

Well, I call his teacher and ask her how he's doing in the classroom. Apparently, he's A-Okay in class behavior wise. She says this is one of the quietest classes she's had in awhile. I'm not sure if that means it's actually quiet or just quieter than what she's used to. He participates, volunteers to help out, read aloud or whatever. She thinks he's just having trouble dealing with the change of teachers from 1st to 2nd grade and the new environment. She's been teaching for awhile and according to her this is a very common occurance, especially with boys. And the work, according to her, he just has to deal with it.

Poor kid. He gets really nervous when he's timed. Whether it's for a math test or racing to get into pajamas. And they time, like, every math test in that class. I'm cringing for him. I'm not entirely happy or unhappy with what she had to say. Part of me knows that he does have to deal with it. Nothing she's assigned is over his head. But still, he's my boy and I hate knowing that he's rushing, not working up to his potential (gag, I sound like such a crappy overacheiving parent here, so bear with me) and feeling overwhelmed and distracted in class. She says usually by the end of the first month they're feeling much more in their element but it might take the whole first quarter.

It's taking me this long to get back into the swing of things school-wise too. Balancing the homework with the play time and reading for fun vs. reading for school. Making lunch, remembering library books, sneakers on gym day, old clothes on art day, milk money, book orders, . Pathetic what I can find overwhelming, isn't it?

Here's Fred in my wedding shoes. With his WTF look on. For Kate, the newly minted adult.

These are the shoes that I love so much (plus the back leg of little dog Fred). They're a chocolatey brown suede. And pretty much beat up from the hugely wet day we had on Saturday.  

A nice shade of lime maybe.

Okay so color me green with envy. I'm trying so hard to be patient and ignore all things Star Wars when I see that Jennifer's husband has already gotten it.

Not that it matters because the TV that was picked up on August 31st is still - I repeat STILL- in the shop. Waiting for a part apparently. So in case anyone ever looks the at the things I'm watching links - the movies won't change until I get it back. And my netflix flix are floundering around like lonely souls on my DVD player patiently awaiting the return of their portal. Plus the fools who took my TV broke my overpriced cable that hooks the two up.

Weird Wednesday questions....

At least I got it done on the right day this week! Click here for your questions...

1. Which is cooler: robots or giant monsters? Why?
Duh. Robots. Giant monsters can think and therefore might decide that they really didn't want glog for dinner but instead - ME. Ahhhh!

2. If for some reason you needed to throw a porcupine, how would would you go about doing it? If you threw the porcupine agianst a wall would it stick better than a jellyfish would if it was thrown from the same distance?
Seeing that a jellyfish is not actually made of jelly I think it might *SPLAT*. The porcupine might stick really well to one of those fuzzy cubicle walls that offices are so fond of.

3. Until the unfortunate twist, didn't you think that Hansel and Gretel were quite ingenious for making a trail back home only out of bread crumbs? What would you have made the trail out of? Well, I probably would have used bread crumbs too. But if I have the benefit of knowing in advance that it might not work out for the best I would have to say spray paint.

4. Of what item in your grocery store's freezer section are you most afraid? How about in the fresh produce section?
Eggplants in the produce and fakey fruit salad in the freezer.


5. How much do you enjoy blogging in cubic joules per meter seconds squared?
7

I tried to do an audioblogger post today and right after I dialed it - kaput - the cell phone battery died. I guess it wasn't meant to be. *Sigh*

Tonight's the finales for both Big Brother and Amazing Race. I have to work and won't be home until about midnight. Ah the joy of the gainfully employed. A snippet of what I might hear tonight - "The width of the driveway remains 9 feet but the width of shoulders have been adjusted to 1 foot on either side reducing the amount of fill required for the project. Because of the reduction a water quality certificate from DEP isn't necessary." *Yawn*

My son is hating school this year and I'm finding myself at a loss for cheering him up today. It's getting exhausting, this finding the bright side of a boring day of school. I bought him a new pencil. I'm really grasping. He says it's boring. Well, only 10 more years to go kiddo. He's doing his homework in the morning before school so he doesn't have to do it when he gets home in the afternoon. At least he's thinking.

Wedded Bliss

It went off without a hitch. At least as far as I was concerned. No fisticuffs or confrontations. It was short and the words of the day were "Can I get you another drink?" Which was answered with a resounding 'YES!!' After many raspberry Stoli & Sprites and one very smooth Kamikaze we called it a day and drove to the newlyweds house for pizza and shoe removal. The shoes, which killed my feet, garnered many compliments and therefore were entirely worth the pain. But my girlie won the shoe pain competition with two blisters on her itty bitty pinkie toes.

The bride seems so very nice. Hard not to like her. But seeing as I was drinking, although not in the slurry 'iluvu' stage, I'll withhold judgement until we meet under more sober circumstances.

Off to bed, then busstop, school, work, busstop, school, home for dinner and homework, hockey and home. Ahhh....Mondays.

The key to a successful event. :) I am proud to say that I downed my very first shot at this event. A kamikaze. I am usually a pathetic sipper of shots. Finally, I can hang.  

My husband (in the cranberry vest - that was almost a cumberbund until my husband said 'Are you kidding?!?!?!' to his brother and got spiffy rental vest instead) and his brother, the prodigal son. 

My nephew, daughter and son. All dressed up and ready to crawl under each and every table to hide and scare the living daylights out of us. Whoopee!!! 

Babysitting

My husbands ideas for taking the kids off my hands so I can get some work done:

1. After I put in a movie (Mouse and the Motorcycle) and set them up he comes in the house and says "Mom's going to work upstairs, I'll be outside if you need anything."

2. Sitting in the big chair at the bottom of the stairs and telling the kids that he's not going to take them anywhere and what do they want to do? Color? No. Hmmmm. What can he do without leaving the chair? I know, tell my son - Don't do that. Don't sit on the furniture like that, why aren't you listening? Then start yelling.

My response....

1. What's easier coming upstairs to ask for a drink/snack/whatever - or going outside to find your dad while he finishes what he's doing before having to come in to play waiter?

2. Get your butt out of the chair.

Back to work....

Again, why do I do this to myself??

You are Terrorist Barbie.

*Which Barbie Are You?*
brought to you by

Soteln form aontehr bolg

Aoccdrnig to a rseearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is tath the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a ttoal mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid des not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Thanks Jennifer!

27 hours and counting

I had forgotten how good finding the perfect pair of shoes can make you feel. Now I cannot wait for this stinking wedding because it's the only place I have to wear my incredible new shoes. The stinking wedding....tomorrow. At noon. Hopefully there will be pictures aplenty.

I never did tell the story of the Brother in Law and quite frankly I'm allowing myself only one emotionally draining post per week and that quota has been filled. The husband has the rehersal dinner tonight and a poker game afterwards. Would be nice if they told both my husband and his sister (who's also a bridesmaid) what time the rehersal dinner is and where. They aren't returning phone calls apparently. Maybe it's off and then I can return the waffle maker I got them. And yes, I did honestly get them a waffle maker. The only things left on the registry were either too expensive or, like, one black bath mat. And as much as I dislike the guy I'm not giving a bath mat as a wedding gift, after all, she hasn't done anything to offend. So let them make waffles. Plus, I love my waffle maker. And my daughter loves to say "And in the morning - I'm makin' waffles". Repeated Shrek watchers will understand.

Weird Wednesday

Thanks to Tara for the link!

1. What would happen if you bit a vampire bat? You would avoid garlic bread like the plague and suddenly that beach vacation doesn't look so appealing.

2. Should there be mandatory trigger locks on staple guns? Why or why not? No way, a little something called the constitution baby and my right to bear arms. (or is that bare arms, and really, short sleeves are seriously overprotected) After all if I can get my hands on a sweet AK-47 I ought to be able to add insult to injury with a few well placed staples.

3. Why are most circles round? What do you mean most? I sort of thought that they all were, but whatever.

4. Besides an aversion to circuses, how can you tell if someone has a fear of clowns? The Poltergeist movie freaks the living shit out of them. (Can you tell I have some personal experience here?)

5. How has the fame changed you? It hasn't. I'm still Jenny from the block. I used to have a little now I have a lot. But I know where I came from.

Keeping it going with the J.Lo on number 5. It was just too easy.

A New and Improved Day

Me with the kids, camping on the Cape

Actually, even yesterday with the maudlin emotional post wasn't too bad either.

The mystery of the missing tape has not been solved. Maybe it'll surprise me like that twenty dollar bill I found in my camera case earlier today. Yippee!

I just ordered a bunch of prints from my digital pictures (yes I am a keeper of the old fashioned photo album, no scrapbooking, just boring old page after page of pictures) and was so excited to finally get a decent picture of me with my kids. Well, this one was taken from the hood of the truck using the timer and upon posting it here I notice that miss smartypants picture taker (who sometimes goes by the name of jenny) focused brilliantly on the woods off to our right.

"Today, the Board of Governors confirmed that NHL teams will not play until the current Collective Bargaining Agreement is replaced," said Bruins' President Harry Sinden. "As a result, the opening of training camps will be delayed and the start of the 2004-05 regular season is in jeopardy. The League has our full support as we take this difficult but necessary step toward creating a new economic system that will ensure that our fans will continue to enjoy Bruins hockey at an affordable price."

Hold on Harry, continue to see the Bruins at an affordable price??? Is $45.00 for the 'nosebleed, drunk guys, back against the wall' seats an affordable price? Or would those be the $90.00 'hey I can see from down here' seats? And like they're worried about their fans. Please they don't give a thought to the look my son will have when we tell him that they couldn't agree on how to split up the money so now no one gets to play. Maybe we'll use the money we just saved not going to the see the B's to go catch a Pats game.

Oh so attractive first day of school picture 

Regrets, I've had a few....

Every Monday I try to post an answer to April' s question of the week. Sometimes it comes easily, yesterday it didn't. It was about regrets, I thought it was an easy one. I didn't attend college, sure, that's been a huge regret. But now that I'm older there's two trains of thought I have

1. It would've been great to get a real education in something I was interested in learning, but seeing that I don't even remember what I was interested in learning, was I really even that interested? Besides it's not that socially acceptable to have not been to college. I might have a good/real job right this very minute. And I'd know how to temper my use of the comma.

2. I know plenty of fools who have been to college and only gotten whatever job they have because of their degree (whether it was related to the field or not). They are no better or smarter than I am. They also have good/real jobs. Which might mean that we couldn't afford to live without my income, which would also mean my two kids (who wouldn't be here right now because I wouldn't have met/dated/married my husband) would be different kids and they'd be holed up in daycare.

Well, because of the kids thing, this really isn't my regret. Just a wishful what if.... So the regret that I posted to her comments was kind of a revelation for me, because it's something I don't choose to think of everyday. It's painful to realize that your father is gone forever and there will be no more Red Sox games/good movies/good books/funny jokes/delicious dinners to share. He died about 13 years ago, almost 14 really, at the age of 42. He was an alcoholic and that's how he died. His liver just gave out. My parents had divorced about four years before that.

My childhood was not a nightmare of alcohol induced beatings or screaming matches. By contrast it was happy, my parents really did love each other, I was an only child and due to lack of competition, my parent's favorite. :) We did normal family stuff. My mom made every effort to hide the fact that my dad consumed way too much alcohol. And it worked. For a while.
The worst of it was the weekend afternoons, he would kind of pass out in the chair. Then he'd be up in time for dinner, no biggie to a kid. Just a nap.

He got into his first bad drunk driving accident one Friday night. He ususally only drank at home so driving was never an issue. This was some work related party. My mom had to take me to the jail to do something. I can't even remember what. I just remember driving there at night. The people in the other car were hurt. Not too badly but still, hurt. I saw my dad differently after that. I just kind of ...despised him a little. He knew it too. My mom, who'd been dealing with this drinking since their first date when she walked him around their neighborhood to sober him up before sending him back home, had changed too. The cat was out of the bag. He was so, so sorry. But cards, gifts and kind words don't mean as much when you don't back them up with actions. He never stopped drinking. Their last argument consisted of my mom pleading for him to please stop drinking and him telling her that if he couldn't drink in his own home he'd go somewhere else. So he did.

Things were never the same after that. The drinking continued. Sometimes tempered with a few months of AA. He did try. But it's a lonely battle. He remarried, to a horrible woman. A nurse who used to steal meds to get high and drank way too much wine. She treated me like I was 8. I came home from school one day (I briefly moved in with them because my stepfather and I butted heads like you could not believe) and she had cleaned him out. A lot of the furniture and all kinds of things were just gone. She did leave him a note. I'll always wonder what happened to her daughter, who was 8 years younger than me and one of the greatest kids ever. I moved back to my mom's not long after that. My dad came to my high school graduation. I prayed he wouldn't drink. He hadn't made the divorce amicable and was not invited to the after party. He went home alone.

I'd go to his house and the bottles would be stacked up on the cellar stairs. Out of sight but not out of my mind. He met my boyfriend twice. We fell out of touch. I hated the drinking and now noticed how much it affected him and me. I'd look at his coffee or soda and wonder what he had mixed it with. And how he acted, was this him or was it the alcohol? I didn't trust any of it. He committed himself to the hospital because pnce, upon sobering up, he was hearing something in his ears that sounded like a fuzzy radio broadcast. Turns out when alcohol becomes part of your body chemistry it doesn't like to leave and this is one of the side effects.

Sobriety turned out to be too hard for my dad. His neighbor found him, on the couch, in early November. A drink within arm's reach. My mom and I pieced together the last year or so of his life through paperwork, a few pictures and some phone calls. It seems he was drinking all of the time. He stopped going to work a few weeks before he died, just looking at the checks he wrote out in the last few weeks, he must have been drinking, because it was all a mess.

I just wish he was here. I know that alcoholism is a disease and someone won't stop drinking unless they want to. But what if they wanted to but just needed a little support/love/or whatever from their little girl. Obviously there's guilt mixed in there with the regret. But even if he was drinking, and couldn't stop - literally- to save his life, I just wish I spent more time with him or told him I loved him not out of duty but out of truth.

So, to April, thanks for the forced introspection. I need to think of my dad more often, share him with my kids more than I do. There was way more good than bad. And now I'm off to play cards with my daughter.

Feeling Better

It seems certain, the tape is lost. I've looked everywhere I can think of. Nothing.

I sent a email warning the girl that I couldn't find it and I'll talk to her today when I go in. I generally don't screw things up at work so I'm feeling like a big jackass.

Warning - Lots of swearing

I know, I know. There are so many other words I could use besides these. But for christ's sake - none are nearly as satisfying.

Goddammit! My job is oh so simple and yet I have managed to fuck it up.

I work for the town I live in taking minutes for committee meetings. I usually attend the meeting (recording it as a backup while I'm there) and come home and type the minutes from my notes. I haven't had to listen to one of the tapes for something I've missed in about a year. Well, stupid me agreed to take on another committee. I was told they only meet once a year (which come to find out was a fucking LIE) so it would be super easy. Anyway, this group has met twice (in three damn months) on nights that I have a permanent conflict (working for another committee). So the lovely people taped it for me and gave me the tape.

The first time they met, it didn't work for shit. They mumble, cover the recorder with building plans, and generally make life way too difficult for me. I was going to give my notice and let them know that this just wasn't going to work. Before I freakin' know it they've scheduled another meeting and whammo here's the tape. Sure, I say to myself, I'll do it just this once more.

Well I fucking lost the tape. I've looked everywhere. My kids sit at my desk to use the computer and my daughter loves to stack up those itty bitty cassettes. Could it have fallen down into the scary, wiry underneath the desk? Nope. Looked. Could I have grabbed it with some papers (which are generated by the pound when you're working for the town) and thrown it away? Entirely possible. I've lost sleep all weekend over this goddamned tape and I'm sick to my stomache. Shit, shit, shit.

September 11

A tribute

sleepout

"Hey kids, wanna sleep in the camper tonight"

"Yeah!!"

We're off to sleep in the driveway.

Important Ingredients

Interception on the one yard line - check
Fumble on the one yard line - check
Sacking the quarterback on the last play by my absolute favorite player in the world to drive the field goal kicker so far back that he misses - check

I was so ready for some football.

Get Your Game On!!

Woohoo, tonight it begins! I will don the new pink Patriots hat and serve up, well, probably not much because it'll just be me and the husband, but still, I'll have my new hat on. And for those of you out there who think that maybe, just maybe, Big Brother will be more interesting....I say
CBS dot com.

To the team that is usually a footnote, who eschewed individual introductions at the SuperBowl, who let their fans share in their Vince Lombardi trophy loving fun, who wear their bathrobes out in public, because hey, they just won the Superbowl - so they can wear whatever the heck they want. And to a Bon Jovi loving, big sweatshirt wearing, best damn coach in the whole wide world......I say Goooooo Pats!!

Today and the Weekend

Ironic = wearing a Lance Armstrong Livestrong bracelet while hanging your arm out the car window to flick your cancer causing cigarette.

Relief = waking up to a rainy morning and seeing that your car windows are shut.

School has begun. The boy is not thrilled but at least he's going without complaining. The girl on the other hand cried this morning because she couldn't go back today. Actually, I suppose she could go today but mommy and daddy are too cheap to spring for any extra time. Sorry girl.

The son is heading to Maine for the weekend with my parents and the husband is coordinating the Brother in Law bachelor party. Golf, cookout then Foxwoods Casino. My BIL has systematically stolen from/lied to/badmouthed all of his friends and alot of his family so virtually everyone has either said No or said yes and then called with a "sorry, we have an important XYZ to go to now and we can't make it". They are down to three guys. Poor husband stuck with this load of crap. Me? I'm off to that 100 house yard sale with a good friend of mine on Saturday. Big thrills, eh? Hey, it doesn't take much. I'm low maintenance. Isn't that a good thing?

Twelve hours and ten minutes left of summer vacation

An old cabin down the road from our property.

The countdown begins. The boy is outside enjoying the last bits of daylight, having a football game with the neighbors. The sneakers are purchased and the backpack is filled. Phew. We took a ride to Battleship Cove on Friday. It's full of decommissioned ships, submarines and helicopters. We went a few years ago and my son's been wanting to go back. After about a half hour in and he tells me that this isn't what he thought it was gonna be and he remembered it as being fun. Oops. My daughter really enjoyed climbing all around the boats and they have a carousel that they've refurbished so that's always a bonus.

We headed to Maine for a cookout this weekend. We bought the land with my parents (thinking 31 acres would be room enough for us all- we might be wrong but time will tell) and they decided to put a camp in right away. Well, what started out as a small camp for two people has literally turned into a small home. It's very big. Well, it isn't huge like, McMansion- 4500 square feet huge, but way bigger than what they originally planned. They had a cookout and invited all of the guys who helped to build it. This was the first time I got to see the spot that the husband cleared out for our camp. It looked really nice and peaceful and woodsy - totally what I wanted it to be.

Well, off to get ready for the daily grind tomorrow.... Oh, and a little something to cheer up all of you fall loving readers know...the leaves are already turning up there!

Black dog is very, very sleepy after a weekend in Maine.  

These guys (husband is in there) helped my parents with their cabin/house and had it up in what I've been told is record time.  

Girl on a Rock. 

A cool froggy and my experiment with the macro lens that I never knew I had. 

The cabin site. I also requested that he not cut a ton of trees down to make the clear area so he left me some little birch and beech trees in the center.

The road to the site of our future cabin. I requested a nice, grassy woods road. Got it. 

Lying in the bunks at Battleship Cove. 

Last week my son finally got the confidence to jump off of the raft at the pond. Woohoo! 

Shortest Post Ever!!

Sorry Kate, this one's got you beat :) Off to Maine for two days!

Psychoanalysis by Quizilla

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

So I'm Hitler. I'm also Lemonheads, spirograph, Kiss my Ass Happy Bunny, Key Lime Pie, Poseidon, Forest Gump, apocalypse Now, and my life has been 'Rated R'. What's it all mean????

Perfect timing

Is this a coincidence or perhaps a cleverly timed event? Want to make sure the RNC was forgotten about quickly? Try an emergency bypass. You go Bill!

The World According to My In-Laws

First off, don't get me wrong, I really do love them. But with my brother-in-law's wedding coming up - things are getting tense.

1. Fair = Son $52.00, Daughter $0.00, Nephew that lives with them $63.00. These are the amounts of money given to the kids last Christmas by my father in law (they save their bottle redemption and leftover poker dimes). I really and truly wouldn't have cared except they told the nephew that he got more than my son did and then the nephew proceeded to tell my son repeatedly how much more all day.

2. Drug Dealing is okay if you have a nice apartment. My mother in law proceeded to tell us about the nice dinner her sister had at her son's house (my husband's cousin, who I'll call 'C'). The apartment is so nice, so big, all new appliances, and oh, the food was so delicious, he's so generous inviting everyone over for this big spread, etc.

Well, my rose colored glasses were broken that day so I say (around my own,too small for 6 adult dinner table) 'But he's dealing drugs to get that nice apartment'. This is common family knowledge, every one knows C is bad news, drug dealing and some minor trafficking (sp?), but they nearly dropped the food out of their mouths gaping at me. I know, I know, my MIL says. You know, You know? Then why the hell are you going on about his nice stuff? Your own son works a regular, honest to god, job and we are relatively happy and have kind of nice stuff.

3. When your lying, stealing, showboating, smooth talking, ex con of a son (the aforementioned brother in law) says he's sorry. He must be telling the truth. This time.

This post is getting long, I'll get into the Brother in Law later, but first I have to go schedule a tee-time for his bachelor party. What the fuck. My husband is the best man and just informed me that they're going golfing, out to dinner and then to Foxwoods. I am so mad I could honestly cry. But I won't. I'm too mad. I will extract my revenge in far more clandestine ways.

Movies, movies, movies

1. Bold the titles for the movies you've watched in their entirety.
2. Italicize the titles for the movies you've only partially watched.
3. Add three titles of your own choosing to the list.
4. Add a link to your list in the comments.

01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek - own it
03. M
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - own it
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - own it
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - own it
11. Reservoir Dogs - own it
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean - own it
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. Goonies
26. Baseketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo - own it
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. The Crow
48. The Princess and the Warrior
49. Seabiscuit
50. Hard Core Logo
51. Phantom of the Paradise
52. Zardoz
53. Lost in Translation
54. American Beauty
55. Big Fish
56. Starship Troopers
57. Starship Troopers 2
58. The Lost Boys
59. All About Eve
60. Showgirls
61. Swept Away
62. Kimberly
63. Velvet Goldmine
64. Deliverance
65. The Prophecy
66. The Secret of Roan Inish
67. Rugrats: The Movie
68. Fight Club
69. The Good, the Bad & the Ugly
70. Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Movie
71. The Shining
72. Run Lola Run
73. Halloween
74. Barfly
75. Naked Lunch
76. Rushmore - will finish it whenever I get my TV back
77. Brazil
78. The Maltese Falcon
79. Cat Soup
80. Better than Chocolate
81. Out of Africa
82. Rebecca
83. Office Space
84. Lost Horizon
85. Inn of the Sixth Happiness
86. City of God
87. Secretary
88. Rabbit Proof Fence

Thanks to you!

A passing grade!

I did it in 15 seconds.
I deserved an A!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!

In the interest of full disclosure I will let you know that I played four times in order to get the A. My lowest grade, similar to one I received in Algebra, was an F minus. (In beloved algebra I got every question and the extra credit wrong - a brilliant math whiz I am not.) But I did have to mess around with the code to get the graphic to appear so I'm requesting extra credit for that.

I just posted some new "What I'm listening To" stuff over there and first off I'd like to apologize for the ads you have to see to hear the music/video. Secondly, the guilty pleasure is just that - I can't help myself but I don't think I will ever get tired of this song. Go ahead, take a shot - I can take it. :)

I wanted to say thanks to Coppertone for the kind words the other day - much appreciated!